Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Mars Retrograde Reflections: Chiron in Aries

I wrote this article back in April when Chiron moved into Aries,  but didn't publish it mainly, I think, because I have a retrograde Mars and tend to retreat as soon as I've fired.  Direct use of martian energy makes me panic.  But this morning I've been dwelling on the whole notion of Mars retrograde, given the skies right now, so it seems apposite to post it. Always going back to go forward...:)

I found myself thinking about Mars this morning and had a sudden realisation about my own Mars, over which I've been puzzling for years. I'm not much of a doer, I have a retrograde Mars whose only aspect is a wide square to Neptune. I am full of great ideas  but the energy is rarely there to put them into action. I start things that never get finished, often because I get interested in something else, or the enthusiasm just fizzles out. So this morning I realised, well, that's who I am.  And that's how it's meant to be.

Even Ulving: Woman Reading
The problem is we live in a world where one is expected to be forever doing, moving, shaking, building career, blah, blah, and more blah. So those of us who are more internally focused end up with complexes about not being good enough; we feel judged for not being some kind of superwoman or superman. And I thought, how about just accepting ourselves and each other for how we are? You may be an outgoing world building gym bunny, and that's great for you (you probably have Mars conjunct your Sun) but to keep 'encouraging' me to join in because you think I'll be happier/healthier/more fun if I do, when all I want to do is study and think and dream, is really not helping. I've had an inferiority complex all my life because I haven't done what the world expects someone with my intellectual gifts to be able to do.  From a young age, in amongst the corporate jobs and social life, I used to yearn to live 500 years ago where I could be a solitary in a tower alone with my studies. And that's fine, because that is my nature. (And at my Saturn Return, that's the kind of life that presented itself, but thereby hangs another tale).

One of the reasons I've stepped back from astrology over the last few years is my frustration with the type of astrology that tries to advise you on how to be other than you are. I needed to step back and let some new understandings arise.  The planets are where they are for a reason, and accepting that fact and understanding what it means for you as a life seems to me to be the first step in working out how to live in this crazy world.  I've been studying art instead but found even there the virus of business and entrepreneurship. How many artists do you know that can be bothered with business and funding applications? We just want to paint!There are others far more suited to that kind of activity, that's why we have managers and agents. But no, somehow we are all expected to be 'entrepreneurs' now. God I hate that word.

 It seems I have a Mars which is about the power and energy of the imagination, which is spiritually driven and is geared to the development of the self (in Leo, ruled by the Sun). I'm never going to be climbing a corporate ladder because my energy is oriented to the inner light, not the outer. And then it occurred to me that these realisations are a result of Chiron moving into Aries. It's right on my descendant and aspecting all my angles. These are the gifts of my natal Mars, and these are the wounds imposed by a world which recognises only one direction of martian energy.

So I think that in trying to work the influence of Chiron in Aries in our own lives, we need to examine the condition of Mars in our own charts. Throw away the cookbook interpretations of Mars and Aries and examine the things that move us, what moved us as children - what did we really want for ourselves and how did we get blocked? Self-examination and strategic adjustment according to intuition and feeling. Removing the obstacles strewn in one's path. This is the way of the peaceful warrior.

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